Science is repudiating claims from a clandestine society of climate change deniers that they are friends. The venerable discipline may explore legal options, including a defamation suit and/or a restraining order, to counter the group’s insistent inferences about their relationship.

“It’s getting really creepy,” Science told the REMI Network in an interview earlier today. “Who are these people and why do they think they know me?”

As the embodiment of a sweeping range of studies, Science acknowledges possible passing connections or shared acquaintances with some of the alleged friends, noting that it’s not the first time charlatans have tried to suggest a loose association is a deeper camaraderie. Flat-earthers, alchemists and various foes of inductive reasoning have made mischief in the past.

“Those autocrats who tormented Galileo were particularly annoying, but at least they didn’t pretend they liked me,” Science recalls.

Efforts to convey the cease-and-desist message have thus far proved difficult since the elusive group — which communicates primarily through billboards and digital dispatches — reveals few details about its membership. Despite touting their friendship, the group has made no overtures to Science about getting together or connecting on Facebook.

“They only want to use me for their own aims; they don’t care about my feelings,” Science says. “Well, I guess it’s not surprising that climate change deniers would be fair weather friends.”