Contrite critical minerals say they will try to be more forgiving of humanity’s shortcomings. In an interview with the REMI Network earlier today, the expected agents of the low-carbon transition also expressed regret for undermining supply chain confidence and dampening the general mood of the periodic table.

“I am not proud of the label I’ve earned,” Cobalt conceded. “I would rather be noble like Neon.”

In an effort to smooth their bristliness and become more encouraging, the clean tech enablers pledge to ease up on scathing remarks about humanity’s tendency to procrastinate, get easily distracted, bicker incessantly and persist in a degrading relationship with hydrocarbons. Mnemonic guidance — “hold your tungsten and cesium from tellurium like it is” — has been developed to remind some of the worst offenders.

Gallium is tapped to be an important influencer in the campaign for kindness given its super-cool status. Nickel is striving to retrieve the “nice” that is buried within it, and an energy storage mainstay is offering both empathy and a plea for understanding.

“I recognize that I am fiery when I’m under pressure so I can certainly see that humanity is juggling a lot of stressors right now,” Lithium said.

Positive reinforcement is within many critical minerals’ skill sets and they say they’ll make a conscious effort to extend that to humanity. Nevertheless, some of their validating comments still have a passive-aggressive edge.

“People had the smarts to conjure up fluorinated formulations that last in the atmosphere for thousands of years so they should be able to figure out how to keep their own families around for a few more generations,” Zinc observed.

Others remain wedded to the traditional approach.

“Oh, humans are sooo sensitive. We’re expected to adjust our personalities because they see everything in terms of what we should do for them,” Vanadium snarled. “Boo-hoo for the crybaby shirkers.”