Mark Carney

Ford to BoE as Canada deals to reclaim Carney

Monday, April 1, 2019

Constituents on both sides of the Atlantic are digesting news of a blockbuster trade under CETA (Canada-European Union Comprehensive Economic and Trade Agreement), inked in the waning days before the United Kingdom exits the EU. The deal sends Doug Ford, first-round picks in the 2020 and 2021 MBA drafts, and an economist to be named later to the Bank of England, while Mark Carney returns to Canada in the role of Premier of Ontario.

“Some analysts are calling it a bold move for the central bank rebuild,” Basel Sifi, a UK-based financial news correspondent, told the REMI Network earlier today. “There was uncertainty around Carney’s contract beyond this year so this is a perhaps maverick direction, but one that may arguably embrace new flexibility in stepping away from global-centric doctrines. It also brings in some nascent talent that can be groomed for the long term.”

Sources say Governor Ford’s fresh thinking on recession triggers caught the attention of the influential Westminster Task Force on the United Kingdom’s Transition out of the European Union (WTF Brexit). Bank of England spokesperson Stirling N. Dewars reports Governor Ford is settling in nicely and enjoying a city with a Ferris wheel on its waterfront. Illustrative of his nimble, adaptive outlook, he’s re-evaluating what constitutes a war on the car now that they’re on the left.

In turn, the deal is expected to augment Queen’s Park frontbench strength. Premier Carney is seen as a superlative two-way player — agile in the attacking zone, while sustained exposure to imperious scolds in the UK government has only sharpened his forecheck and backcheck skills.

Canadian trade analysts speculate he was picked up with an eye to bolstering the question period penalty kill and reversing the dismal executive council-media elites faceoff differential. Other proponents of the deal, inside and outside Queen’s Park, are calling on the monetary policy guru to rein in the torturous syntax the government continues to impose, arguing it has done little to restore Ontario’s credibility rating.

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